Hi, yo!

I shouldn't be right here now. I should be studying instead. I'm not having any December or January's exams like the others in college. People who are having it, best of lucks! This few days I found myself hidden in my 'crib', doing nothing but studying. Yeah, I know. Boring! But what to do? What else I can do while I don have a car to go out in a sunny bright up day? But staying in my room with a fan on maximum blast. I'm a recyclist, so, don ask me to on the air-conditioner or what so ever. The only thing that is acceptable is my small little usb fan. Its super cute, kay. Plus, it has this blue led light in it so it sorta look nice at night. But sadly, its pink. Pink is totally and never my thing, yo!

This is just a random post which i thought once i started typing, thoughts will be flowing in and I won need to think what to type. But what the hell, I'm out of ideas now. I reckon this is the post-'traumatic'-effect of being a homegirl. Sigh. Who wanna date me out?

Neway, I need help! There is something wrong with my comment settings. I set it to allow comment but comment's link doesn't show. It make me pek cek sometimes. Thankiu.

Randomly ramdoness,
glamorouscasey

What's with Maths?

Maths. Maths. Maths.

I always love maths. Be it modern maths or additional maths.

Maths always make me wide awake cause I will squeeze my brain like how we squeeze oranges or lemons wth?! (don need to remind me, I know its disgusting) to find the correct answer and solution.
Alright, I gave up. I was looking for a picture of squeezing the brain but it was no success. Then, so I change my target to lemon and orange and yet I couldn't find a picture that I like. Damn! I wanna geli-fied my blog a bit also cannot.


Maths can make you go insane if you can't solve a particular question especially during EXAMS. And when you finally solve all the Maths homework or exam. I would might be like this.

Or not

Maths always make me excited like when I errr..... I'm always excited. so, that did not make any diffrence. lol.

Maths always make me scold bad words. Everytime i got back my test papers there must be one or MORE careless mistake. Sometimes it cause me more than 10marks!!! pffft..

Maths always make me drool over it all day long and all night long.

Maths class (when I was in Form 3,4 & 5) always make me dozed off. Unfortunately, I got the same maths teacher for 3 years in a row in secondary school and i tell you, I never ever really pay attention. She always make me blur. And if you don understand she definitely will explain again but I bet ya no matter how many times you ask, the percentage of you understanding is 10%! And most of time she make me more confused.

Maths sometimes make me feels so frustrated and had no choice but to give up and turn to the more expert ones.

Maths sometimes make me feels so useless but when you finally had it grasped tightly in your hand, you will never let it go.

Maths sometimes are suicidal.

 

Maths, otherwise, is like drugs. Its addictive.

Maths is somehow fun?

Maths is somehow complicated.

Maths is somehow easy.

Maths is somehow essential.

Maths is so crazy that I wanna blog about it now!

Bottom line, I LOVE MATHS!

Therefore, I'm LOVING CALCULUS.

I remember the first time I joined my bond with calculus, I was in what-the-hell-shock-state. But now, after 9 tutorials. I, Casey Gan, hereby proudly announce that I'M LOVING CALCULUS. lol.

 Conclusion : Maths = Love!

What's your answer?

 My answer, no doubt, is A. What's yours?

Love for maths,

glamorouscasey

At Last

I'm no more in emo state. Yay! Back to me again. Lol. Blogging really is the best way. Maybe is the change of thoughts. Hmmm... Anyhow, I'm back yo! Being all gay up. lol.

All in name of happy,
Glamorouscasey

Ps: I'm getting a new camera on Friday! Yay!!! It's not gonna be a expensive camera but still. Is camera. I can snap better quality photos now cause I won't need to use my 2megapixel phone camera anymore. 


PPs: I might be getting a lousy phone afterall like the ones my mom and dad are using now. Sigh. How I wish My Dearest Samsung L760 will last forever.

D 'Issue'

My feelings had been strikingly odd this 3 days. Gloomy? Moody? Sad? Lost? I had no idea. It  really does starting to irritate me somehow. Who wanna be in a state of depression if they don even know what they are depressing about? lol. But I know what's bothering so much. Its the convo Choon Mei , Jo and me had in the car on Saturday night when I was driving each of them back *proud*. Its a convo about our parents. Every single time i talk about this "matter" the next few days are certainly me living in hell. My parents was on a diverge of their marriage last year and it really do effect me a lot hysterically. Vertigo hit me bad last year. At first, I thought it was because of the pre-exams stress but when Pn. Kong asked me why I had been skipping school so frequently and everything started to make sense. It wasn't because of the exams that caused the vertigo but the family 'issue'. I don really talk to my friends about this cause it would be like the blind leading the blind, nor even counselors. I kept it to myself. Naively, I thought such a tiny issue would be harmless but now it definitely is fatal to me. Myself consciousness are inversely proportional to this 'issue'. Every time this 'issue' is in sky high and I would be in a state of self destruction, mentally, don't get me wrong. I'm not that idiotic to do such thing yet, I still have some consciousness.

Through this whole dramatic 'issue' I had learn tons of things but yet I had lost tons of things.

I had become easily touch by the slightest things even if is just an article or an advertisement telling us to appreciate things, to fulfill our filial piety.

I had become a teenager who would get panic attacks and now had to take medication to control it.

I had become a person who know Love had made everything on earth, humaness.

I had become (sometimes) a person dreading for love or else I would feel lost.

I had become monophonic. Until today, though my parents did not divorce and had mend their love back, my phobia is still there.I'm afraid what if one day this would happen again. And how would I react? And what would happen to my sisters? Say whatever you want. But I hoping for the best and none of this is gonna happen again.

"Love Never Fails" - Isn't it true enough?

But I guess, I'm loosing it.

 

Self searching,

Casey

Ps: Humorously, after I finish this, I felt much better. I reckon I just need to spilled all this out. Like I said, this blog might just be the best way.

:(

This is how I feel today.
Well, literally.

 Unspeakable.

Frustration.
Undefined.

Useless.

Here I go Again

Here I go again. Creating a new blog and abundant the old one. This seems to be endless. lol. I lost counted how many times I created a new blog and deleted the old one. But this time is different. I did not delete Serenade I kept it for some reason. What an improvement, huh? wth?! Serenade has a whole new url now, click here to find out. Anyway, this time I'm blogging in a whole new aspect. An aspect that would be surprisingly shock to many of you.This really is a tera-huge-step for me. So, please give me some time to adjust my feelings. Never in my life, I thought I will be blogging about this. This is somehow scare me but when i rethink it again and again, this might be the best way for me and maybe through this I could help some other people who are suffering from the same thing I do. I'm gonna share the process, the cause, the realisation, the resistance, the healing, the building, the experience, the gained from some issues I'm having. By issues, I meant the enigma which I was so angry, sad and uncertain about back from  few years had now cause major problems, either mentally or physically and my life. And now by this blog, I'm gonna document it and share it to everyone in this world hopefully this might help you through some of your issues too.